The Man Who Might Be King
by SobbingGnome
Summary: Twilight brings a human to Equestria. Unfortunately, he escapes. Now, Twilight hunts for him, hoping to return him to his world. But he doesn't plan on getting caught by her again. Others are moving too, all seeking something from him. They all search for him, but one thing is clear. They're a very divided bunch.
1. Chapter 1

I was just sitting around not doing anything much, when suddenly I get a light show. Normally, this kinda thing doesn't happen. Especially when I don't go looking for it, and I was definitely not. I found myself surrounded by bright beams of all colors, it was pretty terrifying.

Pity that was the high point of it. The terror died after a few minutes of nothing happening. Well, the lights were still there, and I was in some sort of unending abyss. An abyss that was filled with all the colors of the rainbow, but an abyss nonetheless. I did take the opportunity to prepare myself though, so whatever I faced on the other side, I'd face it without shame.

I got my wish soon enough, when my scenery abruptly changed and I found myself in new surroundings. It was a room, I could definitely make that out. There was a bed, and some books on a small table. A bedroom! Progress is great.

There was one oddity though, a purple thing, standing in front of a stairs. It had green fins on its head, and a tail. It was staring at me, and the eyes were pretty big, an unnerving sight. It would have been scary too, except it didn't look very big. It barely reached my knee, I bet I could step on it. I might even try, if it moved, I'd show that thing who's boss. I could try speaking to it first though, no need to rush into violence. But I'd totally do it, if I had to.

My conscience must have debated mercy too long, because now there were two of them. But fuck, this one probably reached my waist. My one advantage was gone, looked like diplomacy was my only option now.

This one was purple, too. I guess everything was purple here. She was a unicorn, looked like one anyway. So I guess different shapes were alright. Awfully tolerant of them, not caring what you looked like. They probably killed and ate anyone who wasn't purple, but nobody was perfect. The other one had two legs, that's probably worth noting.

Neither of us spoke, but there was a lot of staring involved. The little one looked a bit freaked out, but not the other one. She was a creepy thing, a demented looking grin plastered over her face. She looked pretty bad in general, with her hair an awful mess and her purple fur looking a bit dirty. Little guy must have agreed, since he looked at her as often as me.

Then, just when I was about to take charge, she spoke. "I am Twilight Sparkle," she said, then she pointed at the little thing. "This is Spike."

"Hello," I said, standing casually. I'd play it cool, they probably even thought I knew how I got here. They might have been wise to the game, since Twilight giggled.

"Anyway, you're probably wondering why you're here," Twilight said. She gave me a look at this, a strange one. She may be planning to eat me.

"...Maybe I am," I said, folding my arms. I think I had 'playing it cool' down. Twilight certainly didn't call out my bullshit, so that must be something. Spike didn't seem to be going for it. But he had stopped staring at me, redirecting his attention to Twilight. I probably freaked him out. Good, he should fear me, I'm manly and intimidating.

I looked away from Spike, though. He clearly wasn't running the show. Did Twilight move a bit closer to me? I think she did, better not take my eyes off of her. I took a small step back, as discreetly as I could manage. But I could see it in Twilight's face, she knew. Spike must've known too, since he was now shaking his head pretty frantically. I guess that's a common expression for things with heads.

"I know you're frightened, but I called you here for a very _special _reason," Twilight said, she sounded pretty angry. She looked it too, twitching a little bit as she spoke. "Intercourse."

"What?"

Twilight went red. "I summoned you here for... sex," she said. Well, at least she seemed embarrassed about it. The anger was gone too, but I guess it wasn't anger, as disturbing as that was. Twilight seemed to have gone to a lot of effort for all of this, which did raise a good question.

"Okay..." I said. She looked like she could overpower Spike. The dragon didn't seem particularly strong, so I don' see why she had to go so far afield for this. "And why did you do that?

"Well, there aren't many stallions around, and other races won't..." Twilight said. She was making circles with her hoof now. She seemed quite shy, compared to her first outburst. It would have been cute, but she already burnt that bridge.

Twilight gets rejected by everyone apparently, even other races. Also, there were other races and, judging from Spike, race is just politically correct for species. That explains why Spike is different, although they still might all be purple. But they might not be. Things are really looking up now!

Except for the sex-crazed unicorn. I'm still leery about that. Hang on, unicorns look like horses. Well, that explains why Twilight gets rejected by other species. She can add another to that list.

"I'll have to pass," I said. It didn't seem to bother Twilight though, since she started to walk toward me.

"You're not allowed to say that," she said, with lust, or anger. It might have been both. Her horn started glowing and I knew it was time to say my goodbyes. So, with a quick movement, I rushed around to her side and knocked her to the ground. She didn't seem to have very good balance, so it wasn't a hard thing to do. Then I was off, rushing to the stairs. Spike was kind enough to jump out of the way, so my descent went unhindered.

The most immediate thing I found was that Twilight had a lot of books. Shelves upon shelves of them. A bit disturbing if they were all hers, even if she was a collector. But Twilight seemed to be a pretty disturbed unicorn.

I saw the way out. A door made out of wood, everything seemed to be made out of wood. It was off-putting, to say the least. But I kept on going right through that door. It wasn't locked or anything, because that would be _silly_. Twilight didn't seem particularly prepared about this. I feel a little bit insulted, she could have at least locked the door. No sense in sulking over it. Her loss is my gain, and all that. I was free!

It only took a second of getting out before I realized something important. I wasn't going to be the regular kind of sex slave that you locked in the basement. No, I was an alien. It was fairly clear all these bastards realized it too. They had a little town, looked like there was a good few of them living here. They were everywhere, and apparently some of them could fly. They were a colorful bunch as well. Really put my fears of not being purple to rest.

It seemed I was the center of attention here. They didn't move toward me or anything, and I returned the favor with enthusiasm. Twilight was right about one thing, there really weren't many stallions. I think. One red guy looked pretty damn big, I suppose he's the male... or a freak of nature. He was pretty damn big, I don't see how it could have worked out.

I figured it was time to be on my way. Twilight could show up, and this wasn't really going anywhere. So, I chose a completely arbitrary direction and just started walking. The ponies just stared, and that suited me fine. I even got pretty far out. By the time I got to their outskirts of their town, nature started to get pretty wild. There was even a forest. They seemed to have not raping the environment down pretty well. Twilight's house was a tree too, it definitely had the shape of one. It was hollowed out and probably dead, but definitely points for effort.

I heard a crunch. I was being followed. Twilight had found me, probably hell bent on changing the meaning of 'no.' I whirled around, ready for whatever she could throw at me. Well, she couldn't throw things, probably why she had Spike. But I was ready for whatever Spike might throw at me.

I got all psyched for nothing, since it wasn't Twilight. No, instead it was a green one. She looked pretty cautious about approaching, and had almost completely stopped when I turned to face her. She was a unicorn too, for all that was worth. She might try to stab me, that would suck. But her horn didn't look very sharp. More like a stub than anything else. I could take her. Twilight's did glow, that was pretty ominous.

"H-hello," she said, "My name is L-Lyra," she said. It was a bit cute, how she stuttered. Certainly doing better than Twilight. I doubt that will last long.

"Hello, Lyra," I said. I think it was pretty friendly, but she didn't answer. it looked like she'd drifted off. She just stared straight at me. Considering she wasn't very tall, it seemed like I had found myself another Twilight. After a minute or two of that, I decided to end her ogling session.

As I moved my hand, I noticed that Lyra's gaze followed that. I also noticed she was drooling, so it wasn't all good news. I moved my hand around a little bit. Yep, she was definitely looking at that. I'm not going to poke her, that's what she wants.

"Are you staring at my hands?" I said. It got her attention, and she tore herself away from it to look at my face.

"Em... yes," she said. She didn't seem too bothered about it. Ponies must have a thing for being blunt.

"Is it for intercourse?" I could be blunt too. Maybe that was the way to treat these ponies. Hopefully, they'd respect that.

"What? No!" Lyra said. She looked disgusted by that. It was definitely disgust. I was absolutely certain about it. Turns out ponies don't have a thing for bluntness, Twilight must be a weird one.

"Oh, right then. Well, that's good," I might have screwed up a little. Or she was lying, I bet she was. All the ponies should want some of this. I flexed some of my fingers and Lyra went right back to staring. I chuckled, I knew she couldn't resist me.

Wait, that's a bad thing. I better stop. "So, Lyra. What's up?" I really need something to talk about. I don't know how long I can keep this small-talk going.

"You're here, with your hands," Lyra might have been having some issues with small-talk as well. I felt a little better about that. I think I'll keep conversation away from my hands for now though.

"So, that town, I bet it had a name. Care to share it?"

"Ponyville." Lyra didn't even look up. Still, she wasn't drooling as much. That's always a plus.

"Okay, that's hilarious. What about the forest?" Well, my brief burst of small-talk was gone. Talking about the forest, I was losing my edge. I doubt it even had a name. It made her look up, at least. She even shivered! Wow, that forest was just a goldmine of emotion.

"The Everfree Forest. We don't go there," she said. She looked pretty afraid now. I felt a bit bad about bringing it up. I could pet her, that might make her feel better. Screw it, can't hurt.

So that's what I did, just put my hand out there toward her. She watched it fairly obsessively the whole time. Soon enough, it was on her head, and then I just stroked. Lyra didn't seem to mind it.

She actually looked happy, and then she started purring, or something like it. Well, that ruined the moment. For me, anyway. Lyra still seemed to be enjoying it.

Well, this continued for quite a while, much longer than I would have liked. Lyra was getting real into it now, pressing up against me and hopping about a little bit. Taking that subtle hint, I knew it was time to stop. I was pretty slow about it, no sudden movements or anything. She did not take well to that, not at all.

"Why'd you stop? That was... fun," Lyra said. She was panting now, so I don't think I wanted in on that kind of fun. I could've just stayed with Twilight for that. Well, better move on to my more long term goals.

"So, Lyra. Where's a good place to go if you just showed up here?" I said. I definitely needed a plan here, she may have figured out how unprepared I was. Although, she still looked fairly cross-eyed, I might be in the clear.

"You could come back to Ponyville, and stay with me," she said. Lyra was looking at me dreamily now. Not a chance that I'm going for that offer. She didn't seem to bothered about me being an alien though. Why did I even run from the ponies? Aside from Twilight, they hadn't really done anything. Lyra wasn't really selling me on them, but that was only two bad ones.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna pass. Got a whole world to see, and all that," I said. Ponies might be alright, but avoiding Twilight seemed to be a good idea. It was time for me to move on, before Twilight figured out where I went. Still, I knew to avoid the evil forest and Ponyville, those other races Twilight mentioned might be a good bet. I knew where to go, so it was time to say my goodbyes to Lyra. Hopefully, she won't just follow me.

"It's been fun, Lyra. But it's getting pretty late, it's time to get going," I said. I started moving, she followed. I turned around, doing my best to intimidate her. "No, Lyra. You can't come with me."

Shit, now she was pouting, probably. Her ears had flattened against her head and she was looking up at me with big-ass eyes. So it was probably pouting. Ponies looked weird.

"But... I wanna come," Lyra pleaded. That was pretty whiny, but I was still caving. I said no to Twilight, and I could say no to her. But dammit, it was hard. I tried looking away, but it was hard than I expected to avoid looking at her. And then I felt guilty. She was a pretty shady thing, but I still felt guilty about it.

I was going to answer, but I got to avoid that terrible confrontation. Because Twilight showed up out of nowhere, in a purple ball of fiery death. Apparently, she could do that. She probably should have done that earlier, but who am I to judge. Maybe it wasn't charged. Late or not, it still managed to freak me out, not that I let it show or anything.

Twilight looked even worse than before, even dirtier than when I first saw her. Probably stressed because I was busy running around, that seemed like it wasn't something she wanted.

"Get away from him, Lyra! That's a dangerous... demon," Twilight shouted, her horn sparking at me. It seemed like she could shoot lightning at me, was she going to do that earlier? That sucked. Although, if she could do it, I bet Lyra could. I pet her, she owed me. Lyra wouldn't really go for that demon bullshit, would she?

I should focus more on them, since they were already facing off. Lyra had jumped in front of me and her horn was sparking too. It would have ended pretty badly otherwise.

"Twilight, you're not thinking straight!" Lyra yelled. She was probably right, Twilight did seem a bit crazy, not that Lyra seemed much better.

"He's corrupted you, he needs to be removed!" Twilight said quite calmly. Shit, that did not sound good. Lyra was definitely the better bet now.

There little stand-off heated up. Now, they were firing beams of color at each other. It wasn't lightning, but it didn't seem friendly. Twilight had a purple color and Lyra was firing off a green one. It was fairly interesting, I took a few moments to appreciate it.

Where the beams met was quite a show, hitting off each other, and occasionally flashing different colors. Sparks, too, enough to start a fire if they kept it up. Of course, if Lyra won she could probably catch me with her freaky magic and I'd be stuck anyway. It was lucky she didn't figure that out earlier. With that in mind, I slipped away.

The town still seemed a bad idea, and the evil forest was probably an evil forest. So, I chose one of the other two directions and sprinted off. Lyra and Twilight were busy fighting, so I managed to disappear without them noticing. I wished Lyra luck against Twilight, but I was striking out without her.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't plan that out very well. Sure, I was free to do what I wanted now, but where did I go? Ponies weren't my only option, and I didn't plan on going near any of them again, but I still didn't know where to find anyone else. I could go back to Lyra and ask for a map, but she might try tagging along then. Also, she was probably dead. Or maybe she wasn't, I don't know shit about what they were doing.

Still, I had to keep going, and that's what I did. I got a good chance to plot out some of the local landmarks while I was at it. I could see some trees, a forest, lots of grass, and some mountains. Well, I knew this place like the back of my hand now. One of those mountains was strange though, it was like it had a building stuck on the side of it.

I was going to avoid that place. It was pretty near to the ponies, therefore, it was filled with ponies. Not that I had anything against them, I just disliked every pony I had ever met. I may actually have had something against them.

The landscape didn't change for a while, especially the evil forest. That place seemed to be pretty big. But I did come across a quaint little cottage. It seemed to be following the ponies general theme of not destroying nature, so that was nice. Good for them, they had standards.

By the time I got to the door, I had noticed a few things: a hen-house, and a few happy old animals. They stared at me, not do anything like run or something I would have expected. They just stared, with scary looking eyes. Of course, with ponies being pretty prominent, they could probably talk. If they didn't talk first though, I wasn't going to go try.

They didn't try talking. I was kinda relieved, talking rabbits would have been disturbing. Not that talking unicorns were much better, but it was nice. It might have been the size, small things talking just seemed odd. Spike was fairly small, but that didn't bother me. I don't know why, it might have been because he never said anything to me.

I had a bit of a moral dilemma ahead of me. I could knock politely on the door, or I could just barge in. Each approach had a few advantages. But what really sealed the deal was the door not being locked. Very obliging of them. That was two door that were both unlocked. A nice coincidence.

Yet again, the place seemed to have a hell of a lot of things made out of wood. Also, some birds and stuff. They may have been living here. I really didn't want to talk to them, but I might just have to. My fears were relieved quickly though, when I spotted another pony. This one had wings, and was yellow. Because bright colors are the way forward.

I must've intimidated her, because she was freaking out. Well, she was standing still and staring at me. But I think that's the same thing. I could probably leverage her fear to have her meet my demands. Which was a map, to go... somewhere. It was a start, I suppose.

"Hello, pony," I said. I tried to go for a low and scary style. She whimpered, so it must have worked. Then she stopped looking as scared when she got a good look at me.

"I-I'm Fluttershy. I've never seen something like you before" she said, sounding awe struck by my appearance. Now it was awkward, she didn't have to go be so astounded. I must not have been scary enough, or maybe I was too scary. Yes, that must be it: I was too scary and accidentally came across as amazing. That could work.

"Okay, that's neat. Do you have a map?" I asked. She seemed fairly surprised by this. Fuck her, I think it's a valid question.

"Em, no," Fluttershy said. Well, shit, that ruined my plan.

"Fine, can you tell me where I can find things that aren't ponies?" I said. That sounded much better in my head, I sounded a bit lost. I was lost, but that's not the point. I should clear it up a bit.

"I meant dragons and stuff," I nailed it, nothing confusing about that. Dragons seemed to be a pretty manageable bunch, if Spike was a decent example.

"Dragons are mean, you shouldn't go near them" Fluttershy said, it sounded like she was a bit afraid of them. But she wasn't afraid of me, she seemed to be gaining confidence around me instead. She even moved a bit closer. "But you could stay here, I can take care of you."

Then she smiled, I think it was meant to be cute and disarming. It probably was, but I was getting irritated by these ponies. They all seemed to want me. Of course, they should want me. I'm a stud, but it's still gross.

"No, now give me a map or I'll eat you," I said as I showed off my razor sharp canines. I was terrifying, I was in control, and she wasn't buying it.

"Aw, you're just cranky," Fluttershy said. She flew up to me and rustled my hair. Her hoof was fairly soft, which was a surprise. "You just wait here, I'll get you something to eat."

I may have lost control of this. While I could hang around and wait for Fluttershy to come back, that may not be the best idea. She seemed to have some issues, any sane creature would have been at least a little bothered by me. I don't think I was doing it wrong, it was definitely her. She feared dragons, but not me. Spike reached my knee, nobody should fear that. Unless Spike was actually really scary and just didn't show off, or he was just short.

While I was debating, Fluttershy had come back. She was holding a carrot in her mouth now. I guess that's the food she promised. She was angling it toward me like she expected me to take it. Yep, it was definitely for me. I wasn't really sure where I was going to get food here, or how often I could get it. So, with that in mind, I took the offered carrot. Just like I feared, it was more slimy than I had hoped. Pony saliva doesn't really have the best flavor. But it still beats starving to death, probably.

Fluttershy watched me while I ate, smiling happily. She seemed a tad obsessive. She also seemed to live with all these animals. Not smart ones either, these seemed to be the standard kind that didn't know shit, even if they were a bit strange. Also, Fluttershy seemed to be a hermit.

It was definitely time to go, before she tried sticking a collar on me or something. "Thanks for the carrot, but I'm going to leave now," I think that made it clear.

"But you can't! There's still so much we can do, don't leave!" Fluttershy shouted, reaching out to was a bit clingy. I knew she was a strange one, they all were.

"Sorry, got to go," I said as I turned to leave. I had barely taken a step away before I felt something whack into me.

"Don't go! You can stay here, I'll take care of you, and love you, and pet you," Fluttershy wailed, she was crying a bit now. Well, that was strange. I didn't think I'd make much of a pet. Maybe pseudo-slavery was the thing here, pony supremacy and all that. Spike didn't seem particularly enslaved, but he might've gotten a free pass.

"Nice offer, but I'll pass," I said. Prying her off me wasn't a very difficult task, though she had a far stronger grip than I would expect from something with four legs. Once she was off me, I once again started on my trek to find things that weren't ponies.

Unfortunately, Fluttershy had decided to tag along. I hadn't gotten very far at all before she came flying along and settled down next to me. My next intimidating look didn't scare her off. Nothing seemed to faze her. Unless it was dragons, because those things are scary. Not like me, I'm only twice her height, an alien, and clearly a predator.

"Where are you going?" Fluttershy asked. She seemed calmer now, I'm not sure what changed to make her less clingy.

"This way," I said. It was true, I was definitely going that way. But saying it out loud gave me a horrible feeling of not knowing anything.

"There are diamond dogs that way, you don't want to meet them," she said. Fluttershy started pushing at me with her wing, trying to herd me back the way I had come. It wasn't too hard to ignore. "You should come with me, I can help you."

Well, that sounded slightly better than before. She still probably wanted me as a pet, but at least she was lying about it now.

"And why don't I want to meet them?"

"They're big and mean. Sometimes, they even take ponies as slaves," she said. Well, that did sound ominous. I bet she was lying, or exaggerating. She just wanted me to go with her. I wasn't going to fall for something that simple, not a chance of that.

"They sound like my kind of people," I said. I chuckled with as much of a dark tone as I could muster. Fluttershy moved a bit closer to me, that was not what I was going for. She definitely had problems.

"No, you're nice. Not like them," Fluttershy said, nuzzling into my side. I'm not sure where she got that idea from, I hadn't exactly been trying to be friendly. "You should come back with me."

I didn't answer that, she might get the hint if I didn't. She did not, Fluttershy kept on trying as we walked. She never really tried to stop me, or just wasn't strong enough to, but she kept on suggesting it. I was lucky she didn't drug that carrot, that could've ended badly. Also, I shouldn't eat food that people offer me. Eventually, we reached something interesting.

Quite a distance away from us, there was a field. It might not have been a field, but there was definitely open space so I consider it a field. And there was something happening there. A few ponies were running about, and they looked to be fighting.

"Diamond dogs," Fluttershy exclaimed. She seemed frightened. I'm not sure why. She had plenty of opportunity to turn back, she just chose not to. It's her own fault she's here. They were a bit grotesque looking, I'd give her that. The dogs looked to be quite hunched over, but I couldn't really tell much else from here.

"Who're the ponies?" I asked. The ponies down there seemed to not be doing so well. They seemed to all look the same, and were wearing armor. Bright and gold, the armor was pretty noticeable and very shiny. Despite the armor, they were losing pretty badly. They even had spears in their mouths. Not exactly a great way to fight, which explained why they were losing. A unicorn was with them, and he had no spear in his mouth. No, he was too busy firing lasers from his head for one of those.

"The royal guard. They need help," Fluttershy said. You can go help them if you want, Fluttershy. But no, I don't see you rushing off to save them. I suppose I could go help them, but I didn't really want them to win.

So, instead of helping the ponies out, we just watched them lose. The unicorn went down last, and managed to hit a few of the dogs on the way. Not enough to kill them though, they just got back up afterwards. Eventually, he stopped firing and the dogs just jumped him.

"Well, Fluttershy, it's time for us to go say hello," I said, merrily skipping in the direction of the dogs. Fluttershy followed me, tugging at my arm. She used her mouth to pull at me, it wasn't very nice.

"Please don't. We need to go before they see us," Fluttershy pleaded. I didn't care, the dogs seemed to be a nice bunch to me. Although, they were fighting with the ponies. It probably wasn't their fault, I bet the ponies started it.

The dogs had spotted us now. Fluttershy could turn back if she wanted to, but she still seemed to be glued to me. I'm sure it'll be fine. The dogs were coming at us fairly quickly, helped along by me heading toward them. I looked forward to meeting a new species. Hopefully, they wouldn't be as messed up as the ponies.

"Hello there, everyone!" I shouted, grinning as they reached me. "So, I see you like fighting ponies. I think that's fantastic."

I'm not sure what to do now, I suppose I'll go live out the rest of my life with the dogs. It won't be a very pretty life, these guys were ugly as hell. But they seemed nicer than the ponies. There was quite a few of them too, I counted about six had stayed around to greet me. The rest had all disappeared somewhere.

Fluttershy had glued herself to my back now, trying to hide from the dogs. I had actually forgotten about her, she was light little thing. I only noticed because a dog had gotten behind me, and started pulling her off. He seemed to be having a bit more trouble of it then I was, so I helped him along with it. Fluttershy didn't seem too pleased by this, but they seemed pretty friendly. They weren't to the ponies, but they were probably assholes anyway. I'm absolutely certain that Fluttershy will be fine.

When we had pulled her off, another dog came up to me. He had some armor on him, a bit of a rarity for them. It wasn't particularly nice armor, patchwork stuff that barely looked like it fit him, but it was still armor. "You bring us pony?" he grunted out.

It seemed like a good idea to agree with him, so that's exactly what I did. "Sure did," I said. This brought a smile to his face. I don't think I wanted to make him smile again, ponies were definitely a more attractive bunch.

"Come," he beckoned. So along we went. They also gathered up the ponies and brought them along, most of the ponies didn't seem dead either. A few of them were definitely breathing, the rest probably were fine too. They also brought Fluttershy, which got me thinking that she may not have been lying about the slavery.

Despite that minor hiccup, it was too late to turn back. We were definitely outnumbered, so it's not like running would have helped that much. I probably couldn't get away if I tried anyway. Also, I gave them Fluttershy, that probably made me a slaver. Hopefully they'd accept me as one of them for that.

Through many dark and twisting tunnels we went. Eventually, another dog with a cart appeared and the unconscious ponies were loaded into that.

"So, where are we going?" I asked the armored one, who I figured was the leader. They probably liked me, so I doubt they'd care if I asked a question. Slaver loyalty was probably a thing.

"The cavern of war," he said. The other dogs seemed pretty excited when he said that, a few even barked. If the cavern of war was a big thing for them, I was a bit worried. Still, I didn't really have a response for that. Fluttershy didn't seem very bothered by it either. Although she may still have been having a break down over the whole 'selling her into slavery' thing. The cart had cleared off into parts unknown, so I'm definitely thinking they were slavers. Fluttershy got to come with us though, she should be happy about that.

We reached the end of our journey. We were standing outside a big door. The other side probably had the fabled cavern of war I had heard so much about. The armored dog opened the door, and on the other side we found... a big cavern. Except this cavern had a lot of dogs in it, and they all seemed pretty excited. I think they were easily forty or fifty dogs here. Fluttershy didn't like that at all, and had moved a bit closer to me. The dogs didn't stop her, they seemed too preoccupied with the big cavern.

"Come," their leader motioned me forward. He was moving us closer to the back of the cavern. Fluttershy got to come too, apparently.

At the back, there were some steps. Unsurprisingly, we went up them. More shockingly, they had an altar with a pretty looking sword on it. It was a very pretty sword, all shiny looking with a few gems in it. Not that I actually knew anything about swords, but I think it was nice looking. The dog picked the sword up and handed it to me. It was awfully nice of him, but he seemed to be going through a lot of hassle just to do that.

"For you, yes?" he said. I nodded and he smiled again, it was just as bad as the first time he smiled. Then, he turned toward the crowd and howled. They howled back with fervor, echoing through the cavern.

"Now," he said. "Kill the pony."

Fluttershy got pushed in front of me. The dogs were howling louder now, waiting for me to kill her. She'd given me a carrot, I didn't really want to kill her. Not to mention that this was all creepy as fuck. Of course, I didn't really have much of a choice.

That made the decision easy, really.


	3. Chapter 3

Sometimes, I wondered if I really had the balls to go through with heinous actions to save my own skin. I had also wondered when I would end up in a situation that would actually involve heinous actions. Turns out that my moral crossroads would come in a large underground cavern surrounded by talking dogs who expected me to kill a talking pony. That's pretty awesome, when I think about it.

Of course, that didn't save me from the situation in general. I suppose I could try a daring last stand where I heroically fight off the dogs until they eventually overwhelm me, but I didn't feel like dying. Fluttershy didn't seem to have a plan, she was just standing around and not being helpful.

She didn't seem too scared either. I'm glad Fluttershy had made peace with her gods, because I hadn't. I still needed more time to deal with matters of the spirit. The dogs seemed fairly cool with that. They just silently watched on as I stood there doing absolutely nothing. I moved a bit closer to Fluttershy. She moved closer too, pushing into me. I suppose she noticed I moved near her. She may also have been afraid, if the huddling is anything to go off of.

The dogs weren't a bad bunch, really. Sure, they seemed a little crazy with the whole 'giant chamber with an altar of sacrifice' thing they had going on, but that's a minor thing. Twilight seemed fairly crazy, and Fluttershy was fairly bad too. She wasn't as bad as Twilight, but still a bit nutty. I bet ponies had a giant altar of sacrifice too. Clearly, dogs are the lesser of two evils.

Great, now Fluttershy was looking up at me. That's not cool, not cool at all. She was crying too, maybe she was scared. Damn Fluttershy, you should face your death with some dignity. At least this would seal the deal with the dogs. They still seemed like an alright bunch. They gave me free stuff, that's always a good sign. They also expected me to use said free stuff to kill a pony, but I like to be optimistic.

I looked over to the dog priest dude, he was still being about as happy as ever. A big grin on his face as he waited for me to do my work. They were all quite patient, I'll say that much. I wonder if they do this often, killing ponies at their sacrificial altar. I'd feel a bit cheapened if they did, but the crowd suggested otherwise. Of course, they also called this the chamber of war, so they might be a pretty bloodthirsty bunch and get crowds all the time.

Well, I got nothing left. I stuck my face a bit closer to Fluttershy. She stiffened up and tried to bury her face into mine. That's about as awkward as it sounds, except she was also trying to be subtle about it and didn't bother turning her head around. So, I basically got a face full of pony hair.

"Got any ideas?" I whispered. I really hoped she did. I had an idea, but that didn't end very well for her. And it would be messy, I'd absolutely do it if I have to, but I wanted to give her a shot at survival. I might be stone cold and completely able to kill her, but I could give her one shot at this.

"D-do you?" Fluttershy stammered out. I had a great plan, but I don't think that's what she wanted to hear. That sucked, I guess it's time to do what the dogs said. Goodbye Fluttershy, I didn't really like you.

No point in rushing though, I'll just slowly move into a slightly better position. I raised my shiny sword a little bit higher, angling it so I could get a good look at it. It looked absolutely fine, all sharp and stuff. I could definitely work with that, eventually, once I inspected it a bit closer.

A tingling sensation started in my fingers. That's definitely a sign, there was definitely something wrong with this sword. I should ask for a new one, I doubt the dogs would mind. I had absolutely no problem with anything else, but I definitely shouldn't use a bad sword to do it. The dogs would understand, they understood the importance of an odd feeling.

I backed away from Fluttershy. "This sword here seems... bad. I'm not sure if I should use it," I said, holding the sword out to him. He didn't go for it though. Instead, he growled. That's unfriendly, I thought we were cool.

"No, sword is your sword. Now use it," he said. The dog stopped growling and pointed to Fluttershy, who hadn't take the opportunity to try and flee or anything like that. How helpful of her, I'm glad she was making this so easy for us. It would have been so awkward if she ran, she could've fallen and plummeted to her death, or something. That would have been unfortunate.

But since she didn't do any of those things, I was able to approach her once again. Of course, now everything seemed to be in order and I had no reason to delay. Not like I wanted to wait any longer, I had absolutely no problem with this. That tingle hadn't gone away though. It'd gotten worse, way worse. My arm kinda hurt now.

"My arm feels off, can we take a break?" I said. The dog growled and pointed to Fluttershy again. I think it was poor form, really. Breaks were important, I could stretch a muscle or something. Nothing to be done about that then. I moved toward Fluttershy again, she still wasn't doing anything unreasonable like running away or anything. That's good, it makes this thing I have no problem doing so much easier.

After crossing the exceptionally short distance, I found myself next to Fluttershy again. She'd pretty much decided to roll over and die, I guess. Although she hadn't actually rolled over, which is good. If she did, one of the dogs might get jumpy and end up stealing my fun. That would just be awful.

Next, I had to line up my pretty-looking sword to chop off her head, or something. It wasn't a very fast thing to do, but the dogs were still proving to be excellent at waiting. Even the priest fellow was obliging, about time he started treating me well. I still felt like shit though, I really should take a break and try this again later.

"How about we stop here and try again tomorrow?"

"No," the dog grunted out, his few bits of fancy armor jingling as he once again pointed to Fluttershy. He must've liked pointing, because it seemed to be his way to tell me things. He was kind of an ass.

"We definitely should, trust me on this," I said. The dog growled again, he wasn't a very obliging guy. After a few seconds of that, I felt the need to say a bit more. "It'll be much more fun later."

He must have thought that was a great idea, since he stopped growling. I'm glad my superior speech skills were able to win him over. Nothing to do now but get to know my new dog brethren. We can get back to this thing some other time. Unless Fluttershy does something crazy, like run away. But she doesn't seem to want to try that, for some reason.

The dog hadn't bothered to move much, he was staring at me. It was freaking me out a bit. I know I was the main event here, but this stare was a strange one. His eyes were wide and he looked surprised. Of course, that might just have been more anger, dogs were as weird as ponies.

Or maybe it was my shocking and superior form finally dawning on him. I didn't hunch up and with my general lack of fur, I looked a lot better than these guys. Just to be sure, I inspected myself.

It makes sense that he was staring now, as I seemed to be glowing purple. I knew I was feeling a bit off, that dog should have listened to me. But he didn't, and now I was purple. It's his fault this happened, if he listened to me I might not have turned purple. I should probably ask if they knew why I was purple, I don't normally do that.

"Holy shit! I'm purple! Dog, fix it!" I shouted. I was purple, why the hell was I purple? Holy fuck, I might die. This is all Fluttershy's fault. She's the reason the damn dogs wanted me to kill her. The dog wasn't helping, despite my clear instructions. Instead, the useless bastard was staring stupidly at me.

It didn't help either of us when I got tackled. Falling to the floor, I got a good look at my attacker and found Fluttershy glued to my back. It seems she was going to take the chance to kill me just because I accidentally enslaved her. What a bitch. I didn't kill her, but apparently small things like that aren't worth shit to ponies.

I tried to roll, but crushing Fluttershy below me was far harder than expected. Looks like I had to go for something else. Bringing my free hand around, I grabbed one of her wings and gave it a few tugs. She gasped and her death grasp loosened ever so slightly. I found her weakness now, and kept on tugging. Her moans of pain only grew louder as I worked my way free of her grip.

"What are you doing?" said a familiar voice. It was enough to stop me pulling on Fluttershy, and I looked up to see Twilight again. Also, I seemed to be back in her bedroom. Also, it was pretty bright and now my eyes hurt. Twilight seemed as messed up as always. She also seemed a bit surprised, not that I can blame her.

Fluttershy finally let go of me and I managed to stand upright. Much like myself, Fluttershy was squinting. It was quite an unsettling sight on something with such big eyes. Her wings were sticking up, and she was panting heavily. Overall, she looked pretty messed up. Hopefully, she won't be dwell on that whole almost killing her thing. I doubt I looked that good either, but at least I still had this stupid sword.

"What Fluttershy and I do is none of your concern," I said. Sure, I had a sword and was trying to kill her. But I think it's pretty believable.

"Fluttershy, why was he doing that to you?" Twilight said, completely ignoring me and focusing her attention on Fluttershy. Twilight sucked, I was there, I could talk about it too. I was gonna lie and stuff, but she didn't know that.

I wonder what happened to Lyra. Twilight still looked as shit as she did before, but Lyra didn't have anything to do with that. I suppose she was dead. Twilight seemed like the kind that didn't leave any loose ends. How unfortunate for Fluttershy that Twilight was the local serial killer.

"It was lucky you helped us, Twilight. Those dogs were... nasty," Fluttershy finished. I should have probably listened. Nothing to be done about that now. I owed Twilight for saving me but she tried to kill me earlier, so I guess we were even on that count. Although, if Twilight could just bring me to her like that, it probably would have been something she could do earlier. That's another thing Twilight should have done but didn't. Silly Twilight.

"Yes... lucky. But about our friend here," Twilight said. She giggled and winked at me. I don't really think we had a big secret to share, but apparently she thought otherwise. Fluttershy didn't seem too bothered by Twilight changing the subject away from her near death experience, but I guess being some sort of weird hermit made you a bit slow on these things.

"You know about him, Twilight? I found him today, he's my new pet," Fluttershy said. I was right here, but apparently that doesn't matter and it's totally fine to call me her pet. I miss the dogs, those guys were way nicer. They only made slaves out of ponies. I can't really blame them for it, ponies were assholes.

"I need to borrow him, there's stuff I need to do with him," Twilight said. That didn't sound too good, I should probably leave before this gets strange.

"How long do you need him?" Fluttershy said. She really has no fortitude, she only got me like an hour ago. But apparently, I wasn't enough to hold her interest. I was amazing, I should at least be interesting for a few hours.

"Only a day or so, Fluttershy. It'll be like he was never even gone," Twilight said. I'm fairly sure she actually planned to kill me, so I don't know how she was going to pull that off.

"Okay, Twilight, you can have him, I'm gonna go, then," Fluttershy said, nodding. Without saying goodbye to me, she turned and walked out. It's like she didn't even care about me. Ponies are heartless creatures. Who the hell does that to their pets? Now it was just me and Twilight, and she didn't look very happy.

"What's with you? Why is Fluttershy good enough, but not me?" Twilight shouted. I forgot that I was going to try leaving, I really should have done that. Luckily, I still had this amazing sword. It was about time I used it, too. Rushing toward her, I found my progress instantly impeded by my inability to move my legs. Looking back to Twilight, I could see her horn was glowing. I think I get the connection now.

"I dislike you!" I shouted, throwing my fancy sword at her. It hit her head and she went down, flopping onto the ground. Once again, I found I could move. That's just fantastic. Now I'm back pretty much where I started, but with a nice sword to add to my collection of swords. I should get going now, onto the wonderful world of strange ponies and stuff. I bet the dogs would probably take me back.

Unfortunately, my plans were ended when I heard a thunderous blast come the ground level of this place. Heading down Twilight's stairs, I found myself face to face with a big white pony. This one had wings and a horn, I guess she won the genetic lottery. Although she suffered from gigantism, so I guess it wasn't all good for her. She was really damn big, probably would have towered over Twilight. Also, she had a crown and stuff. Apparently, their royal family was pretty big into inbreeding.

"Do not be afraid. I am Celestia, and you must come with me," Celestia said. That was pretty patronizing. But I probably couldn't get away if she used those giant legs of hers to chase me down. She could also fly and use magic, that's just unfair. From behind Celestia, some new ponies appeared. These ones looked the same as the ponies that were fighting the dogs. They must have been soldiers, since they followed their malformed leader around.

"Sounds good. Where are we going, then?" I said. Celestia smiled and twitched her head in some weird manner that must have been from the inbreeding before she answered.

"Canterlot."


End file.
